GRACE MESSARRA
SENIOR COPYWRITER

Replacing the letter c with k was first popularized by the Ku Klux Klan in the mid-to-late 19th century, but that’s not why we do it.

 

In fact, it was the result of vengeful deed exacted by Krispy Kreme’s founder, Doug H. Nut, who always harbored a secret disdain for the moderator of his fifth grade spelling bee, Mr. Cory Ca--Kory Karson. Doug was so proud to have finally made it to the finals against reigning champion Meng Xi Chen; everyone was counting on him.

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“Doug, for the win, your word is iridocyclitis.” (What does that even mean?)

“Iridocyclitis.

I R I D O C Y…K L I T I S.

Iridocyclitis.”

 

“I’m sorry, that is incorrect.”

The room fell silent, until Meng Xi broke it with a shriek of euphoria and trotted to the podium to claim her $7,000,000 reward. Doug proceeded to collect his consolation prize: four leftover jelly doughnuts from the complimentary buffet; “everyone’s a winner!”

 

And so, a monster was born in Doug.

 

The world would rue the day it kreated the alphabet! If he kouldn’t spell, then no one kould. So he took that konsolation doughnut and launched Krispy Kreme—an international sensation that would forever blur the line between c and k.

 

Meng Xi went on to receive a Ph.D. in Spelling Bee from Yale University. She occasionally enjoys Krispy Kreme[sic] doughnuts in her leisure time.