GRACE MESSARRA
SENIOR COPYWRITER
If you think Krispy Kreme’s smiling chocolate and banana doughnut signifies actual happiness, then clearly you are not an angry ex-wife.
The infamous doughnut made its debut as a passive aggressive gift left to (former) CEO, George, by his bakeress (now ex-)wife, Cathy, who, after finding out about his sordid affair with the flour girl, decided to serve him divorce papers in a doughnut box filled with a dozen smiling doughnuts. She left him a message inside that read, “I am leaving you, you adulterous b@&*#!” and sued him for all he and his business were worth.
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They settled out of court, and, needless to say, Cathy got the sweeter end of the deal.
Single and penniless, George lived out the rest of his days haunted by smiling doughnuts peering out at him from Krispy Kreme display cases.
His successor, Chad (who took both his job and his wife), decided to patent the design of the smiling doughnut as a grand romantic gesture to Cathy on their first wedding anniversary.
To this day, Krispy Kreme continues to serve the smiling doughnut to unwitting customers as a preventative measure against wandering eyes, and as a warning to all the potential cheaters out there about the adverse effects of spousal wrath.
It has since become the number one bestselling breakup pastry.